I sang that title out to Salt N’ Pepa  – it might be stuck in your head now, but this post isn’t going to be as snappy as some 90’s song.

I have a really hard time admitting when I’m jealous (and it’s that much worse to write about it). More so because it honestly doesn’t happen to me that often, other than that period of time I wished I was Claire Danes (circa 1994).

But seriously.

Anyway, when jealousy does invade my thoughts, it hits me twice as hard. I like to think of myself as pretty secure and comfortable in my skin – and that’s whether it relates to my appearance, life, status, whatever. I don’t look at other people and wish I had what they had, because I like my life – and myself. If I decide I don’t, I work to change it – then it’s my problem, and my responsibility to do something about it.

Even so, it still happens, and I hate the feelings it brings to the surface when it does. I hate seeing a post or some news and instead of being happy for the person, you just feel ugly inside, seemingly out of your control.

There’s something about admitting it, about vocalizing the feeling that gives it life somehow. I also have thought – “but wait, I give other people advice, I can’t admit that… ”

Except that is exactly why I am writing about it.

We are all human, and it’s normal to have these feelings. You have to embrace it and see what the message is behind the emotion – and be honest with yourself.

I think about my goals and career quite often, and as such, am constantly planning for and adjusting my trajectory. Most days, I feel right on track, but sometimes I struggle to lend worth to what I’ve already accomplished and worry how that translates to my overall success. At times, I even worry if I signed up for the wrong race altogether.

We all know there are certain societal expectations for what “successful” looks like. Hustle, hustle, hustle. Popping bottles of rosé poolside while working remotely (obviously Instagramming all of the above). A huge salary with matching title. You get the idea.

Social media constantly shows us what to strive for, and though I am not one to follow the crowd, I have wondered exactly what does it all mean if I don’t do or achieve said certain things? The questions are involuntary, but persistent nonetheless.

 

Don’t get so caught up in the idea of “succeeding” that you lose the idea of what success really means to you. This definition is personal, and only you can decide what it is. Make sure what you’re chasing after is your dream and not someone else’s ideal.

 

I’ve realized that your title, salary, or career achievements, relationship, whatever, do not speak to how successful you are or will be (and, social media does not always paint a truthful reality). Real, lasting success originates from identifying what fulfills you most, and then allowing those things to influence your work and other life choices.
Remember, your career (or ‘insert other important thing here’) is important, but should be one of many other aspects that equal a fulfilling life; after all, your happiness is multifaceted – and non-negotiable.